In my life before The Family School I was extremely self-centered. I hurt everyone around me to get what I wanted and got a lot of negative attention by acting like a psycho. I had no interest in God because he probably didn't want me to steal, lie, cheat, or use substances.

My life became unmanageable early on. I was kicked out of 8th grade for drinking and drugging, and a year later was thrown out of 9th grade for the same reasons. I also owed thousands of dollars in gambling debt and spent my life running from those I owed money to.

Before FFS, my life was unmanageable and out of control. I was shooting heroin, selling drugs, stealing, and lying to my parents. I did anything to blind me from reality because I hated who I had become.

At home I was an overeater and extremely overweight. Going to school was the last thing on my mind. I stayed home and slept all day, then got up and stayed out all night. I was rude and disrespectful and had fits of temper.

At home I perfected the art of quitting. My attempts at sports, school, and relationships amounted to nothing but pathetic stories because I never followed through. I did not like myself and wanted to escape the judgment of others.

My life at home was full of lies and deceit. I became part of the tough crowd in middle school, and in high school I was in and out of detention, got into bad relationships, ran away and was sent to a psych ward.

To put it bluntly, I was a drunk. I didn't care about my family, or God, just drinking and smoking. I was drug-tested for the first time at 12, at 13 I was in outpatient rehab, and at 15 I was sent to wilderness and then to The Family School.

I was 15 and my mother was driving me to the hospital. She was crying, but all I could think of was what a good job I had done not eating. I felt no remorse, only the desire to leave and continue killing myself.

I am an alcoholic and a drug addict who couldn't live life on life's terms, so I drank. When my dad was diagnosed with cancer, I was introduced to heavier drugs and started stealing and selling his pain medication.

I was empty, angry, miserable, and lonely at home, and used any means possible to numb my feelings. I dropped out of school. Nothing really mattered, and I was quickly using up my friends and family.